I signed up for the Business Heroine Academy.
Why is that terrifying? Money, of course. I chose to sign up the last month I have "guaranteed income" - usually this is when I batten down the hatches and conserve my resources.
Clicking that payment button took all my courage, because I had to go against all my instincts.
Those instincts aren't accurate. They're an accumulation of years of training and absorption. And some survival instinct too. After all, you never eat your seed corn. The hard-working ant survived when the lazy grasshopper did not. A penny saved is a penny earned. Etc.
I believe in saving, and moderation, and being careful. But I also believe in myself. I know Studio Kittie has the capacity to launch into a big time business and I am ready to make a living as an artist.
Anne Perry has been there, and done that, and I choose to believe an investment in myself - and her years of experience - will rocket me forward into the next phase of amazing.
Choosing to believe that goes against every instinct that screams to play it safe. So this is obviously excellent practice for living a bigger life.
Plus, I have spent the past 72 hours meditating, journaling, and actively asking LTUAE to help me connect with more people. The money will flow when my medicine is out in the world, helping people. I need those people. Show me how to find them, and support them, and love them, so they love me in return! Please and thank you.
I even wrote down my specific request (for a business or marketing training guide I could afford that would help me find people) on paper and put it in my Treasure Box. It's a beautiful, hand-made jewelry box with a sculpture of a mermaid on top, surrounded by jewels and ropes of pearls and gold doubloons. There's even a treasure chest. And a sea horse! It's my focal point when I want something I can imagine to become real.
And so, it is real. The opportunity sat before me. And I nearly backed out. Because of the cost, because of fear, because of uncertainty.
I said YES because of all those feelings. To say yes in the midst of fear - to leap for an opportunity that you asked for - is a form of prayer. It is commitment to belief. It is validation of our skills and talents and inherent right to shine. It is holy.
It's also still freakin' terrifying. But I trust payment #2 will emerge, because it has to, because I asked and I received and now LTUAE has to live up to its end of the bargain too.
Skol (cheers!), my loves, to living a terrifying life of holy perfection.